Sunday, August 01, 2010
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It's the first day of August so I will try to use that as a catalyst to get back to blogging. It makes me nervous to even write that. I'll just write about one thing and then it won't seems overwhelming.
I lost my nerve for riding my bike on the road. So many people I know have had some kind of trouble, crashes or problems with drivers, that I just felt like I was tempting fate by riding. When I wasn't a mommy, it wasn't a big of deal to me. Recently, before every ride I would start to feel anxiety build to the point that I would be on the verge of tears before leaving the house. I would think about my napping baby and what would happen and and and then I would force myself to go but it didn't feel right anymore. So I started mountain biking again where I'm 100% less likely to run into a car but 75% more likely to hit the deck. At least the deck is dirt and not chip seal.
I love mtn biking even though I suck at it but ultimately I knew I needed to do something about the anxiety with road riding. I don't want to live my life in fear. So Bill and I looked at a map and we came up with what we think is the safest area for me to bike on the road. It's about 5 miles out of town on a road perfectly named: Tangent. It's flat farming roads where there are little to no cars. It's like biking in Iowa or what I imagine that would be like. Not exciting but you can see a car coming from a mile away.
Anxiety at ease, sort of. Insert witticism about taking tangents in life here. It's been a while since I've blogged!