Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Existential childcare crisis

We are "testing" childcare this week. I think any mom who has left her baby at a daycare will get a knowing feeling, a sinking feeling, just thinking about the days she left her baby with someone else. We are easing into it by taking Liam 2 hours each day M-W. No big deal! Except mommy stays up at night thinking about it and has secret crying sessions when no one is looking.

We found a great situation for childcare so I shouldn't be so freaked out. A woman who lives 3 blocks from us started a daycare in her home. She used to be a director of one of the big daycare centers in town and she is wonderful with kids. Her husband works for home and steps in when he needs to. They are pretty flexible about things and just wonderful people in general.

Today was hard because I had to test out how I would feel about working out before work, meaning one less hour without Liam. I have to tell you, I really questioned whether or not it's important for me to swim today or if I even need to swim for the next 18 years.

I figure Liam doesn't want a mommy who is a hack swimmer and he doesn't want a mommy who ignores him to go workout. So I will have to find a balance. It turns out that working out is the easy part. The mental part about whether or not I'm doing the right thing will be much tougher. I feel like every decision I make determines what kind of mommy I will be.

What kind of mommy am I?

For the past 2 nights I've ridden the bike trainer in the garage for a 1/2 hour after Liam went to bed. It was a great start for getting back to biking except then I didn't get to sleep until 11pm. So, sleep, baby, exercise, work, what else am I forgetting? Husband, friends, tribabe.com, ummmm a lot! At this point, if there were more hours in the day I would just worry about whether or not I should spend them all with Liam.

Alright friends, thanks for listening. I will post photos of Liam tomorrow or the day after. I've been busy with holiday stuff but will get back on track soon.


QRgirl (erin) said...

Think of what a good example you are setting for Liam by showing him how fitness and healthy living are essential to life balance. You're a great mom and will probably be more "sane" if you keep up with the "you" time! Do not feel guilty for making your exercise a priority! From the kid-less peanut gallery ;-)

NoPoGirl said...

Okay, you're going to hate me, but here goes...daycare is good for babies. Daycare is good for mommies and daddies. No kid wants a parent who is obsessed with being with him or her all the time. Daycare teaches kids (yes, even babies!) to deal with other kids and other adults. And, it gives adults "adult time" which is insanely important so you don't become one of those annoying moms whose every other word is about her kid. Enjoy it!

wonderwoman said...

A mommy that takes care of herself and is happy is a good mommy! Liam will understand. Obviously you don't want to dump him at day care all the time, but you need time for yourself to do things you love to be a good parent. That is my philosophy as a person who has no kids.