Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Working moms

One of the interesting parts of being pregnant is adjusting to how open people are with expressing their opinions to you. It's a constant barrage of...

You're so big! You won't be able to keep that lifestyle up. You'll never be the same again! Your dog is going to be neglected once that baby comes... (this one is very popular) etc etc etc.

I feel like saying "Calm down people!" I'm going on 37 years old, and as one of my friend's recently pointed out, if teenagers can do it (raise a child) then I think I can. One thing people don't openly talk about is whether or not I'm going back to work. This has been quite nice!

In my community, all of the mothers I know work. Most of them work close to full time hours and this is due partially to their husband's not making enough to support the family and partially due to the fact that most of them have master's degrees and a desire to have a career.

My mom worked and I think this was a great advantage to me. Of course, I don't know any better so my opinion is one sided. My mom worked with people with disabilities and this exposed me to a whole culture and lifestyle I would not have known otherwise. I also learned about my mom's strengths (there are too many to list) and her weaknesses (she literally gives too much) through her work. I watched her evolve from a bookkeeper to running an entire agency. There was always a line of people outside her door, waiting to chat with her whenever I visited her office. I admire my mom and what she accomplished with her life and her career.

I also learned how to build a career for myself with very little in hand. Both my sister and I are self confident women who don't dwell too much on our faults or shortcomings. Neither one of us get along with women who have low self esteem because we don't get it. A lot of women suffer from low self esteem so both my sister and I have to be careful about who we befriend.

I was fortunate in another way, my grandmother was available to raise me and took care of me for most of my young life. I don't believe I spent much time in daycare or with babysitters, in fact, my mom recently told me that I ran away from Montessori school and walked myself home. Daycare was not for me so I took care of it.

I have been working full time for most of the past 20 years and I'm ready for a break. But I'm not planning to quit my job. I am trying to work out permanent part time employment in my current position and I hope it does work out. We're not planning to put our child in daycare right away, we hope to piece something together for at least the first 6 months, then we'll have to make a decision. Grandma lives in Phoenix and grandma lives in Spokane. It breaks my heart. I wish we could be near family so our child could experience the joy that I had getting to know my grandma. The love she gave me has helped me through a some lonely times in my life.

Now that I'm FINALLY pregnant, I was hoping everything else would fall into place. But we might struggle a bit to work this out. I try not to let it get to me, but it does. I wish there were a better solution for all women.

1 comment:

Amanda Whitmire said...

"I wish there were a better solution for all women." Amen to that, sister.