Thursday, August 28, 2008

When the universe smacks down a go-getter

I haven't been blogging because I've been putting in 10+ hour days working my day job and then silk screening t-shirts for in the evenings. I took a class on silk screening last month and since then, I've been busy making new designs. Who takes a class at a craft center and then prints massive quantities of t-shirts and capri pants with the purpose of selling them within days of finishing the course? I do. I am that person and I realize it is annoying.

What do I mean by annoying? The instructor crabbed at me the other day because I asked about the "paint" for screening and she said, "It's called INK, not paint." That's right, I don't even know the right way to say things but I have a business based on the process.

Go-getters are annoying, but here's the thing, I/we don't care what the universe thinks. I don't expect everyone to be excited or supportive about my choices. I do what I do because I can't not do it and that cannot be explained unless you too are afflicted with "can't-not-do-it-itis". The affliction means you see an opportunity and a path and you go for it because you can't NOT do it. Does that make sense?

Lest you think I have a big head or a monster ego, don't worry, the universe takes care of that. I screwed up at least $80 worth of t-shirts so far. I'll get there though, the universe isn't completely relentless on smacking me down.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was complimented on the way I run meetings. Yesterday I got flamed by a VIP at a meeting I was running on a web project, he asked, "Have you ever taken a web design class? This is the busiest web page I've ever seen." My job is to manage web projects so you can imagine that this was a public insult targeted straight at me. No question about it.

After the meeting, two people came up to me separately to compliment the work I've been doing so I didn't let it shake me, the VIP was being rude and I think everyone in the room knew it. But the universe was letting me know, don't get too full of yourself!

Sometimes, the universe is a little too mean. An acquaintance said to me about one month after I miscarried, "You're looking kind of chubby." At the time, I couldn't think of one good thing to take away from that comment but I see it now. It was time to move on and the universe was letting me know that it was time to move on. It hurt. Bad. It still makes me tear up that someone could be so insensitive, but after that I started training again, I lost some weight and did a triathlon and it genuinely helped my emotional and physical state, I moved on, so thank you universe, for smacking me down, even when I'm most vulnerable.

Universe: I know you will smack me down no matter what I do. In the meantime, I'm going to go get some stuff done with this life I have.

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